You Don't Have To Get It 'Right'
Let's talk about how you don't have to "get it right"...
It's true, you don't have to get it right, whatever "it" is. And, I guarantee you that you won't get it right.
Whether it's saying the "right" thing or always doing the "right" thing because we humans are not simply right/wrong, good/bad.
Perfectionism and getting it right are traits of the patriarchy and other systems of oppression.
I've heard so many feminists tell me how they are worried about getting it "wrong", saying the "wrong" thing and getting plastered for it, or just plain being "wrong".
But, it's not as simple as being right/wrong because we're not binary, and that kind of binary thinking is another one of patriarchy's and white supremacy's ways.
The goal is not to be good or happy.
~ Brooke Castillo
This quote is an excellent reminder that life isn't about binaries, it's not about being "good" or "happy" all the time.
We can never measure up for "good", and we have so many more emotions to experience than happiness. It's life. It's our human experience.
So, if you can't get it "right", then what do you do?
Keep showing up. Keeping being you and doing you. Keep learning and growing. And resting and healing.
Other people are going to think you're getting it "wrong" at some point or another. That's what you get for expressing yourself in any way shape or form.
If you're showing up in the world and being visible, there will absolutely be people who think you are "wrong", saying the "wrong" thing or just doing it "wrong".
But, that's them, not you. You can't control how other people think, feel or act.
You can keep showing up for yourself no matter what. You will grow your opinions and perspectives. I do all the time.
You can self-reflect without judging yourself and feeling shame. (Read my blog post on how no one can shame you without your consent.)
It's not about what other people think of you. It's about what YOU think of YOU. Forget about whether other people are judging you. Are you judging you?
Are you being kind to yourself? Do you have your own back? Do you believe in you?
Put yourself first. Not other people's opinions.
This is part of emotional intelligence because any worries you have about getting it "right" or being judged are simply thoughts you are having, they are not facts. And, those thoughts produce certain feelings inside of you, usually shame or guilt-ones you probably don't like to feel.
You are in control of how you feel though. You don't have to feel shame or guilt. You don't have to judge yourself or put yourself down for not getting "right".
You can still keep showing up for you, learning and growing and being kind to yourself along the way.
You'll get it "wrong" in other people's eyes, and that's okay. You got this. You are still kind to yourself.
Want to get out of the shame-guilt cycle and binary thinking? Coaching can help. Go here to find out more.