We’re not taught to feel our feelings or how to manage our emotions.
We’re not taught that we actually have control of our feelings instead of thinking that circumstances control our feelings.
But, I have EXCELLENT NEWS for you.
Circumstances do not control your feelings. Circumstances happen and you get to respond to them however you want.
You have that power.
When we think that circumstances and other people cause us to feel what we feel, we are giving our power away.
I remember my school counselor telling my 4th grade class that “no one MAKES us feel anything” and it’s stuck with me ever since. When we say, “They made me feel this way”, we are actually being inaccurate. No one makes us feel any particular way at all. We do. We “make” ourselves feel what we feel.
This is EXCELLENT NEWS because it means we have more power than we think we do.
And, you do. You DO have more power than you think you do.
No matter your circumstances, or what someone does to you, YOU get to decide how you feel about it.
Now, that doesn’t mean that we want to feel like rainbows and roses all the time. If we witness someone being harmed and we respond with joy, then that probably doesn’t serve us because feeling joy in that circumstance won’t teach us to intervene or help stop physical harm. It won’t teach us that physically harming someone isn't okay.
All emotions are valid, have their place and are available to us to serve our highest humanity.
But, the problem is when we get caught up in blaming others for our emotions thinking that they cause our emotions instead of recognizing our own power.
We can’t grow and mature emotionally if we stay in this false cycle of not taking responsibility for our own feelings. It doesn’t mean we don’t create boundaries and have an attitude of “anything goes” or let people walk all over us. Quite the opposite actually.
Our freedom is in owning our feelings and feeling them.
This creates more space in our heart, mind and body (since our bodies store our emotions).
When we deny ourselves our feelings, we are holding onto more unnecessary weight that holds us down for a longer period of time.
My desire for you is that you recognize that you CAN free yourself from this weight. You can take the weight off.
It does involve getting vulnerable with yourself and feeling your feelings. Trust yourself enough to hold your feelings. The more you do it, the better you will get at feeling your feelings, and the deeper you will trust yourself to hold space for YOU.
And the more capacity you will have to hold space for others when they are having feelings, which will enhance your relationships and have you experiencing deeper intimacy.
Feel your feelings. Own your feelings. And take your power back.
You are more powerful than you think and you are worth owning it!
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