When You Deny Yourself Your Feelings, You Deny Your Power
We’re not taught to feel our feelings or how to manage our emotions.
We’re not taught that we actually have control of our feelings instead of thinking that circumstances control our feelings.
But, I have EXCELLENT NEWS for you.
Circumstances do not control your feelings. Circumstances happen and you get to respond to them however you want.
You have that power.
When you think that circumstances and other people cause you to feel what you feel, you are giving your power away.
I remember my school counselor telling my 4th grade class that “no one MAKES us feel anything” and it’s stuck with me ever since. When we say, “They made me feel this way”, we are actually being inaccurate. No one makes us feel any particular way at all. We do. We “make” ourselves feel what we feel.
This means you have more power than you think you do.
No matter your circumstances, or what someone does to you, YOU get to decide how you feel about it.
Now, that doesn’t mean that you want to feel like rainbows and roses all the time. If you witness someone being harmed and we respond with joy, for example, then that probably isn’t what you actually want to feel.
There are no “good/bad” emotions. Sometimes, you will want to feel angry, sad, bored, afraid, etc.
All emotions are valid, have their place and are available to you to serve you.
But, the problem is when you get caught up in blaming others for your emotions thinking that they cause your emotions instead of recognizing your own power.
You can’t grow and mature emotionally if you stay in this false cycle of not taking responsibility for your own feelings. It doesn’t mean you don’t create boundaries and have an attitude of “anything goes” or let people walk all over you. Quite the opposite actually.
Your freedom is in owning your feelings and feeling them.
This creates more space in your heart, mind and body (since our bodies store our emotions).
When you deny yourself your feelings, you are holding onto more unnecessary weight that holds you down for a longer period of time.
Recognize that you CAN free yourself from this weight. You can take the weight off.
It does involve getting vulnerable with yourself and feeling your feelings. Trust yourself enough to hold your feelings. The more you do it, the better you will get at feeling your feelings, and the deeper you will trust yourself to hold space for YOU.
And the more capacity you will have to hold space for others when they are having feelings, which will enhance your relationships and have you experiencing deeper intimacy.
Feel your feelings. Own your feelings. And take your power back.
You are more powerful than you think, and you are worth owning it!
Want to get better at managing and owning your feelings so you can thrive?