5 Lessons From Queer Eye

Have you watched the new Queer Eye on Netflix? If you haven’t, then I highly recommend you cancel all your plans for the next few days and binge this show! And, make sure you grab a box of kleenex cause you’re going to need it ;)

These queers are my favorite life coaches on TV, and most of them aren't even “official” life coaches! 

I’ll be honest, I thought this show was going to be all about vanity and, once again, stereotype gay men, but it’s not. Yes, there is focus on skin, hair and fashion but there’s also a big focus on going deeper and doing the inner work.

These humans help transform mostly male-identified folks's lives, but sometimes women too! They help folks embrace who they really are, learn to get vulnerable and what it means to accept who they are. They're also encouraged to not get lazy, but to put effort into their look for themselves and for their wives or women partners. I know I would like to see more straight men pay more attention to their appearance. Not for vanity reasons, but more for selfcare reasons. 

I also love that the new Queer Eye isn't just focused on the straight guys, but supports gay men as well helping them embrace and own all of who they are and be open and honest about who they are. Grab me a tissue, would you please?

I seriously cannot get enough of these Queer Eye honeys (don't you love how Jonathan, the one with the pretty long hair, says, honey!?). 

Since I love them so much, I thought I'd share with you 5 lessons we can all learn from Queer Eye and from how I've seen these honeys act in their lives (at least what I've seen on Instagram anyway). 

1. Vulnerability

Like I mentioned, I thought Queer Eye was going to be too vain, so I almost didn't watch it, but I thought, what the heck? might as well give it a go. And, I'm so glad I did because it goes to those vulnerable places, and before you know it, you're swimming in a pool of your own tears. 

In order to grow more into ourselves, we gotta be willing to be vulnerable. In order to experience real intimacy with one another, we gotta be willing to be vulnerable. This involves being honest with ourselves about our true feelings and our true desires. 

Getting good at being vulnerable is a valuable skill. 

2. Acceptance Of Self & Others

I love that the Queer honeys inspire men on the show to accept themselves for who they are. They remind these men that they are "gorg" and amazing, and that's beautiful. These men begin to understand what self-acceptance looks and feels like. 

And, I can see that the very presence of queer men can inspire acceptance of others, especially for straight men. Remember the episode with the Trump supporter? It's one my favorites (make sure you watch that one!).

My hope (and, yes, I am optimistic) is that his conversation with Karamo has sparked a shift in his perspective, and maybe got his wheels churning about race, racism, police brutality, queerness, and oppression. Just maybe he has been affected by it. I remember he cried at the end not wanting the Queer Eye guys to leave and said how much he loved them. 

That's the thing, every single one of these men in the episodes expressed how much they loved these queer honeys because, how could you not? But, it shows how important it is to be in relationship with people who are different from you, and how to treat each other as human beings. 

My hope is that these men learn how to accept more people who are different from them in this world. I know the show has inspired me to do that even more. 

3. Loving Kindness

The queer honeys are so kind and loving, and that's why I love watching them so much. That's why I followed each one of them on Instagram. They love on each other constantly and it is contagious. It makes me want to love on my friends more. It makes me want to be more loving and be a part of more loving communities. 

Their kindness speaks to me because I value kindness. How they model loving each other creates a ripple effect. It reminds me of the kind, loving person that I already am and to come more from that place. 

And, they approach themselves with love and kindness as well.

Self-love & self-kindess = super important 

Are you kind to yourself?
Are you speaking kindly to yourself?
Are you having loving thoughts towards yourself?
Are you choosing loving thoughts towards yourself? 

You get to show yourself the love and kindness that you want from others and that you give others, and, in fact, it's essential. It's incredibly valuable. 

Because, you're worth it. 

4. True Intimacy

True intimacy is emotional, it's feeling emotionally close and connected. The queer honeys model this in Queer Eye and show the men they are transforming what intimacy is really all about. They are intimate with these men, and they are intimate with each other. 

Part of this intimacy, too, is physical affection. How often do we see men giving each other physical affection that's not sexual or even if it is sexual? Not often at all. It's super important for men to learn physical affection with each other (and to learn how to have it with women in a non-sexual way too). 

How often are you physically affectionate with your friends? Do you cuddle with your friends? Do you hold hands with your friend while walking down the street? Why not? 

We need affection. It's vulnerable and stretches us outside our comfort zones to be physically affectionate with each other in ways that aren't sexual. But, why not? 

You are worth it and deserve it. 

You also deserve feeling emotionally connected and close.
True intimacy.
Who do you have it with in your life?

5. Creative Self-Expression That Disrupts The Gender-Binary

Even though these queers don't identity as non binary or trans, they disrupt the gender binary. They express themselves in ways that are disruptive of traditional gender behavior. They call each other "girls" and "honey" and refer to themselves as "she", and talk in ways that are deemed "feminine" and walk in ways that are seen as "feminine" moving their hips. So on and so forth....

They're not afraid to be who they are, and who they are IS outside the gender binary because who ALL of us are is AT LEAST SOMEWHAT outside the gender binary since NONE OF US completely fits into the gender binary. 

The more we realize this, the more we can be our WHOOOOLE selves. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, 

You are sooooooo much more than the gender binary. You are a multi-faceted, complex, complete human being. You are so many things. You are creative as fuck. 

Own all of who you are. Because you are worth it, honey. ;)

What's your favorite lesson from Queer Eye? Comment below!

In Queer Love,

XO Cameron

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