How To Be An Emotional Badass
As deep feelers and sensitive people, we feel things very deeply. We feel what other people are feeling easily and frequently. This is part of our superpower, and it’s one that requires a developed superpower skill of emotional intelligence or what life coach, Brooke Castillo calls, emotional adulthood.
This is what I call being an “emotional badass”.
Becoming more of an emotional badass is essential for your superpowers to serve you and the world. It’s essential for you to thrive and shine. So, how do you become an emotional badass?
Be Aware Of What You’re Feeling
Awareness is the first step. Bring awareness to what you are feeling and where you are feeling it in your body. Take a moment to breathe and sit with yourself to pay attention to what you are feeling.
Identify the feeling. What are you feeling?
Is it anger, sadness, hurt, resentment, frustrated, fear, ....?
The more you can identify what you are feeling, the better you will become at actually feeling it and moving through it.
Get Good At Feeling Your Feelings
Allow yourself to feel whatever it is that you are feeling. Try not to judge yourself for feeling what you're feeling. Feelings are just feelings. There is no good or bad. They just are. It's okay to feel them.
You are not your emotions. You are just having emotions.
Give yourself time, space and permission to feel ALL that you are feeling.
The trick is not to resist whatever emotions you are feeling. When you resist your emotions, then you carry them around with you and they will deplete you.
You want to feel your feelings so they don't have power over you and feel like a burden.
It can be hard, sometimes, to feel what we are actually feeling, especially if it feels really intense and if you don't like what you are feeling.
What if it's okay that it's intense? What if it's okay that you don't like it? You don't have to feel it for forever. Feelings aren't permanent, but they do need to be felt in order to move through them instead of avoid them.
When you avoid your feelings, they tend to fester and stick with you causing more unpleasant feelings, which can lead to depression, deep anger, rage, and a mindset that doesn't work for you.
Also, we hold our emotions in our bodies. If you don't release the emotions from your body, they can contribute to physical and health problems. Our minds, heart, and bodies are all connected working together.
Feel your feelings. Even if it's intense. The more you allow yourself to feel, the more at ease you will be.
Take Ownership Of Your Emotions
Learning how to identify and feel your feelings is part of taking responsibility for your feelings instead of blaming others.
Own what feelings are YOURS and notice when you are taking on others’ emotions and OWN that you have taken on their emotions. It is not their fault that you have soaked up their feelings. The more you own your own feelings and separate the ones that are yours from the ones that aren’t, the more you are in your power.
Owning your emotions is you taking care of yourself and committing to your boundaries of not letting others “control” you and how you feel. Owning your emotions is taking care of your mental, emotional and physical health.
Be in your power.
Release Your Emotions In Healthy Ways
Find a safe space and moment to release what you need to release.
"Safe" means a space where you can have your emotions and express them in ways that won't affect others. Or, maybe a friend has offered to witness you expressing your emotions and this is part of the safe space.
Then, do what you need to do to release. If you're having really intense emotions, you might need to scream, hit some pillows or things, have a temper tantrum where you are shaking your arms and legs screaming, hit or break things (that you're cool with hitting and breaking, no people unless they have already consented).
You also might need to turn up the music loud and move your body around or go for a hard run. But, be careful with your body. You don't want to cause injury, so if you're going to be moving your body in rough ways, try to ease into it first, and make sure you are very gentle with your body afterwards giving it lots of love, attention and rest.
Sometimes, I scream in my car.
Sometimes, I hit the couch or carpet/rug with my fists.
Sometimes, I break down crying.
Sometimes, I just shed a few tears and I'm able to move through my feelings pretty quickly.
Different feelings call for different expressions, and varying degrees of expressions.
Do what you need to do in ways that won't harm others. Expressing your emotions in a healthy way is a big part of your power.
Being emotional badass takes practice, and is a part of our journey in this life. There is no destination, just growing into more of an emotional badass. The more you practice it, the more you grow.
You will always feel, it’s one of your greatest gifts and beauty as a human, AND you can learn to be more at ease with your feelings, which, in turns, helps you be more at ease in every area of your life.
One of the things I want for everyone is emotional badassery because this is what it’s all about. This makes life livable, enjoyable, easeful, pleasurable, joyful, and ALIVE.
Being an emotional badass will help you show up as your best self in all parts of your life. And, the people around you will thank you for it. Your emotional badassery has a ripple effect. It has influence, and affects everyone you interact with and are in relationships with.
Are you ready to take this deeper? My feminist coaching guides you through a more in depth process to help you be more of an emotional badass.